AND I MARCHED AROUND SAYING, "FEE, FI, FO, FUM!

EXTRAORDINARY.

YEAH. BUT ALL THOSE SMALL TAXIS
AND LITTLE TOWER BRIDGES MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A GIANT.

ANYONE WHO COULD UNFURL
15 FEET OF THIN SHEET METAL

HIT YOUR TARGETS OR YOU'LL BE FIRED.

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MYSELF.

I'VE HIT FAST FORWARD.
LOOKS LIKE A SORT OF HARDCORE BENNY HILL.

- THINK ON.
- I'M THINKING ON.

THEY'VE TAKEN A BIT OF A POUNDING OVER THE YEARS.
IN FACT, CAN YOU GET ME SOME NEW ONES, PLEASE?

ANYTHING ELSE?

I DON'T WANT TO SEE AN ERECTION.
UNLESS IT'S IN THE MIRROR, RIGHT, GUYS?

WHO WAS THAT MAN
WHO WAS BORING ME AT THE FUNERAL?

I, ALAN PARTRIDGE,
TALK TO M.E. SUFFERERS ABOUT THEIR CONDITION.

JUST RELAX. THERE'S A FOAMY BIT ON YOUR SHOULDER.

- DID YOU SEE MR BROWN AND HIS FRIENDS OFF?
- YES. I SHOULD GET A BRAVERY AWARD FOR IT!

- YOU DO KNOW WHO I AM?
- NO,

NICE ROOM.

- ALAN, THERE'S A CALL FOR YOU.
- RIGHT. YOU GO ON UP, LYNN.